Things to stress about and things not to stress about

I am a pretty laid back person to most who know me.  I internalize most stress and just try to work it out in my head by myself. Most of the time, that works.  Sometimes it does not. 

One thing I've learned to deal with in the last year or two is friends and how we deal with them.  Facebook has put a different spin on that and we have "friends" that are real-life friends, more casual friends we met from online or family.   I have met some wonderful people online that have become "real-life" friends and have reconnected with friends from elementary and high school.   Occasionally I'll realize that a friend has deleted me from their list.  At first I was surprised or wondered if I did something to offend that person.   As a couple years went on and Facebook wasn't a new thing to me anymore, I see that it tends to be someone I'm really not close to, don't have much in common with, or simply don't really connect to on a deeper level. 

And I'm ok with it.  I have come to the opinion of:  it is their loss.

That sounds kinda funky or assuming but I think that I'm a pretty ok person to know.  I'm not fake.  I'm not putting on a show of how I'm "supposed" to be.  I'm not fitting a mold.  And if I don't fit into their life, that's ok too. 

I grew up very lower-middle class in a poorer area of KC.  My parents expected us to go to college and we did.  We actually paid for it ourselves.  There was no college fund hovering around and we did it - and paid for it for the next 10 years of our life.  I appreciated my education and am glad I did it.   It makes me a more well-rounded person, I know a lot of answers while watching Jeopardy, and it allowed me to get a better job than I would have coming out of high school.   But it doesn't define me.

I used to be fat.  Really fat.  A large-and-in-charge kinda gal.  Then I got to the point of needing to change  and was fortunate enough to qualify for gastric bypass through my work insurance. I did it over 4 years ago and lost over 135 pounds.  I look different on the outside.  I am healthier.  People no longer seem to treat me as "invisible" (though at 310 pounds, you really aren't invisible in any capacity).   I am the same, but yet have the confidence to not apologize for who I am.  I like to craft.  I like to eat massive amounts of blueberries. I like to put my hair up when I'm having a frizzy day.  I like to wear comfortable hoodies and crocs.  I make no apologies for my sadly unfashionable choices.  If people don't want to hang with me because I don't live in Aero or A&F, I don't really care.

I'm thankful it took me less than 40 years to come to terms with me - the good, the bad, the warts and shiny parts, and the average stuff in there too.  Not everyone is going to like me and I'm ok with that.  But in the words of the classic 80s movie Can't Buy Me Love, be yourself. Don't change who you are to please others.
Time for a new year - full of new possibilities.   :)